Being up at 4am [tw: sh mention?]

My body clock is weird. Being up at 4am right now, in my mental state, im doubting my meds. I mean, i guess they help me and stuff but cuttings the only thing in my mind right now. I'm not depressed on anything though, I've got too much shit to do to be depressed. 

I'm writing this cuz im kinda having a good time thinking about suicide + I've got no one to talk to. Later I'm gonna roam around my city, might even visit a mall, if it all goes well i might even come home alive and well. Might post a blog entry about it too.