MY BF BROKE UP WITH ME

ok so, yesterday my ex bf broke up wth by ghosting me so imma tell you all our whole story!

we meet 2 years ag in a party friend of our parents, I was obligated to go as well as him... I was helping my dad with some stuff of sound because he was playing some music. When I saw him for the first time it felt like first sight love. (BITCH I WAS SO WRONG) We started dating a week later, our first date was in the movies, we watched the mario bro movie and yes, it was fun. 

There is a catch because I used to be a nsfw worker, a rent gf. I tried telling him but I was scared to tell him becuase he told me that kind of people were so gross for him. (yes, i know i should have told him) One night that he stayed at my parents house with me he checked my phone, so yeah, we shared our passwords but I never checked his... He find out, but he listened to me amd we tried to figure it out. I stopped working of nsfw stuff so he said he would help me with some money.

After a time we were "so in love" I tought he would be the one, during the first year I gave him handmade gifts. I made him videos on my tiktok and stuff...

there is something big, he was planing on braking up with me without telling me, he first started to ignore my calls and invitations to come to my place, One day I wen to my moms and he went to my dad house (my parents are divorced) and told them the job i had... and that he wanted to broke up with me but he was afraid that I would "end my life" (I do have a personality disorder wich make me want to end my self when he was being so mean to me... In that time I was hurting myself becuase he was ignoring me, dont worry guys, I go to therapy now...). That day I had a crisis and end up in the ER but i didnt knew he wanted to broke up with me. 

He lied to me a fukcing month about loving me. We broke up for a couple months, then we got back again but he was misstreating me, that went like that for almost a whole another year. I did cheated on him, I wont lie. I had my reasons to do so and I am still really sorry about it... 

But even when we tried to figure it out with my therapist he kept yelling me, ignoring me, talking to me awfully. Every wekend we met I end up crying in my bathroom while he was in my room, I did tried to end my self again but fail totally, I DID NOT DID IT TO MANIPULATE. I wanted to leave that clear... I was so desesperated and feeling so stuck in that awfull relantionship that I could only think of that. He a couple days ago broke up with me, i feel so sad but at the same time so calm... I just wanted to share my story.