Masturbation feels like necrophilia when you're dead inside.

Sometimes I find myself with the feeling that my existence is a mistake. I simply stand still, unable to move while life continues. I can't help but think: Does my existence have any meaning? Is it really worth it for me to be here now? I simply can't find an answer.

The days have become boring, my body has become automatic, reacting purely on instinct, lacking any emotion or meaning.

I'm tired of fighting, of going against the grain of the system. I simply follow orders, without personality, without charisma, without anything. They've killed me.

Sometimes I miss myself, sometimes I want to feel alive, doing a thousand things that in the end only bring me emptiness. I search for myself and can't find myself, I'm nowhere to be found.

Thinking about suicide is stupid. I've considered it, but it bores me so much.

I just think; If there's a god up there, I want him to let me go. I feel so unhappy in this corrupt world. I feel so unhappy being just human, but what a mundane thing it is!

I wish with all my soul that I could die naturally, one day, out of nowhere.

Happy.