Senior Struggles

Is it just me that feels utterly confused and overwhelmed about graduating? Not because of classmates or friends but because of what the future holds in the horizon. Graduation is a mere 2 months away and for some reason I feel so unprepared for adulthood. A part of me is excited because I get to be independent and do stuff without much restriction, but at the same time, I feel so lost about my identity and plans. Right now I feel so unprepared for applications and I'm not even sure whether I am gonna score the desired marks for uni. (my fault for picking subjects with strict grading systems). I wanna be positive and I keep telling myself that I can always try other options but I have made so many mistakes that I feel guilty for trying again. I haven't learned from second chances because I'm so comfortable in my own bubble. 

These thoughts have been exhausting my brain for the past few weeks and I genuinely want to be a better person before I start college. Commitment is so fucking hard, I find the comfort in relapsing again and again. Gosh being in a functioning society is not for the weak.