Saying slurs, especially when you're not meant to

Disclaimer: I am open-minded, if I'm saying something ignorant or blatantly wrong, please tell me via IM or the comments. This is my first blog post after all *\_(O u O)_/*

So, the past couple of days I have been with my cousin, who I love dearly, but there's something she does that really ticks me off. For the past 3 days straight, she's been saying slurs. Primarily the N-word. As you might have guessed, we're both white. And idk, it just rubs me the wrong way, and rightfully so. She has no place saying these words. She even does it when we're at family events with my 10 year old sister. I have already told her multiple times that she shouldn't say these words at all, and especially not around my sister. And she tries not to, but still. She shouldn't even have to try not to, she shouldn't even be saying these terms at all, but I digress.

Something that hurts to admit is that, I, in fact also said these things when I was younger. Fortunately I have learned a lot about the effect they have and where they come from. What I needed then was someone who stopped me in my tracks and prohibited me from even thinking about saying these words. That's the role I'm trying to take on with my cousin. But she just gives excuses like “I'm not saying it in a hurtful way, I'm not try to offend anyone nor am I offending anyone” knowing damn well she just openly and loudly uses these slurs in public.

I, myself, am gay. Which gave me the idea that it would be cool to say the F-slur a couple of months ago, so I just went out and about saying this every day, not thinking about others. Until I heard it coming out of someone else's mouth, I don't know if they we're queer but hearing this immediately made me feel unsafe, which is extremely hypocritical, I know. That's why I realised I also should not be using slurs even if they were and are used against my own community. My cousin has also said the F-slur to me the last couple of days and before that too. She knows I'm gay because she was one of the first people I told. So if she actually used her brain for once, she would see how that's actually so hurtful coming from one of my closest family members.

In general, I don't think anyone should be using derogatory turns for different demographics, even if you are in that demographic!! At the end of the day you decide for yourself of course. But I just think it would be better for the people around you and for yourself to just not use these words at all. This is obviously a complicated issue and has many layes, but at least on a surface level, I think no one should be using slurs.

Thank you so much for reading, I greatly appreciate any and all feedback, whether it's about my writing or my arguments, everything is appreciated!

P.S. This blogpost isn't complete because I forgot my story halfway in writing this article.