Life is so weird.

So like, lately I've been struggling with dissociating what I'm actually feeling. I've been really confused about my emotions, such as when I know I'm happy, but I don't FEEL happy, if that makes any sense. Like, I'm feeling everything all at once one moment, and feeling nothing at the next. I don't understand it :(. I am on the neurodivergent spectrum, so I have considered the fact that I am nebulasexual. I've also been struggling with my sexuality, like whether or not my feelings for someone are romantic or heavily platonic, feeling this way has ruined some of my past relationships. Another aspect is my gender, whether or not I feel like a boy, girl, or other. I'm AFAB, and honestly I love being a woman, but sometimes I just... don't, y'know? I FEEL like I'm a boy, then I feel like I'm a girl, and then I feel like neither. I've categorized myself as genderfluid, but that doesn't even feel right.