trying to clean my room

✨Day One of Getting My Life Together (After 2 Years of Bed Rotting in a Biohazard Room)✨

Okay. Deep breath. It’s 2025. I have been rotting in this bed since 2023. Not metaphorically. Not aesthetically. Literally. Like… the sheets haven’t been changed since Dua Lipa released “Dance the Night.” There is a mysterious bowl of something on my dresser that I think was soup?? once??? and I am 90% sure the mold colony in my mug is sentient now. If you’re reading this, please know: this is not a cry for help. This is a war cry. We’re getting up TODAY. 🧍‍♀️🧹

The room: imagine if a raccoon lived in a Spirit Halloween clearance bin. There's dust on my light switch. There's laundry from every season layered like geological strata. I found a sock that predates my last situationship. The air is so stale it probably qualifies as historical.

But guess what? I got up. I stood up. It felt like standing on new legs after being a The Sims character stuck behind furniture. My legs said “we’ve never done this before” and my spine audibly cracked like an ancient tome. But I did it.

🧼 THE PLAN (because I need structure or I’ll lay down and disintegrate again):

1. Pick up 10 things off the floor. Doesn’t matter what. Just 10. (Already found 3 forks?? Why???)

2. Open a window. Light hurts my vampire eyes but I need the Vitamin D or I will fully die.(i feel dead with finals rn)

3. Throw away every cup. Even the “emotional support cup.” It’s time.

4. Blast music. We're using delusion and drama to overcome depression, baby.(in headphones ofc tho)

5. Wipe down one surface. Just one. Don’t get heroic.

6. Take a shower like a Victorian woman recovering from consumption.

I am not becoming That Girl. I am becoming That Gremlin who fights her way out of the hoarder’s nest with claw marks and unmatched socks and wins anyway.

🌪️ Things I’ve Already Done Today:

• Took out the trash (nearly passed out but made it)

• Ate a real human meal (by “real” I mean a monster, but it counts)

• Didn’t scroll for 6 straight hours (growth it was only 2)

• Started this post (??? therapy who?)

I’m not saying I’m healed. I’m not saying I’ll clean the whole room today. But I’m saying I’m not going back. The old me is still in that bed, and I love her, but I’m dragging her with me into the future whether she likes it or not.

💀🪩 So if you’re also rotting in your bed, surrounded by stale cups and regrets—this is your sign. Get up. Pick up one sock. Drink some water. Take one step. We can do stupid tiny things together and call it progress. We are not gross. We are healing in slow, chaotic, deeply dramatic ways.

Let’s do this today, you guys. I’ll post updates (or disappear for another month—who knows? It’s ✨mental illness✨) but for now: the war on the floor begins.

💌 Day 1, bunny out.