Public diary #1

Everything is fucked up. I'm fucking up my own life and future. "maybe God is redirecting you to a better path" what if he's not and my failure is actually my fault? I've been failing my classes miserably. I'd rather help my classmates on their work, than do mine. Idrk why i do that, but maybe it's bcs I get that good feeling after helping them, maybe that's why. But thenni ask myself what's in it for me? None. I tend to help other ppl but can't help myself. I tried seeking for help. Close friends, family, even professionals, but still a part of me holds back. Ik i gotta learn how to eventually, but smh it feels like i will never learn how. 

Old friends are turning into strangers, new friends are becoming dangerous. Idk who to trust anm cs everytime i do i keep getting dissapointed. And i hate it.

Idk anm.