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today i became in touch with the world again. for the last month i've been withdrawn, watching everything around me go by, even being passive, but now i'm in touch with the reality that to truly live you can't just sit and watch. for the first time in months i've felt true anger, it was over something i've been upset about but for some reason it actually set me off. its not even the situation, its now just my spiraling thoughts about it. i'm okay now, i just needed to be alone and to eat, i feel like i'm beginning to be in touch with my peace.
speaking of in touch, i've been rebuilding and making current friendships stronger. there's this one girl, ill call her jacana, we used to be super close, practically family, about a year and a half ago along with our other friend, ill call her jambalaya. i was in a toxic relationship when we stopped being friends, me and the guy had gotten into an argument, i forgot what it was about, but i basically began to distance myself away from them by feeling like i had to leave my gc with them, my at the time bf made me feel that way not them, and after i did that it was never the same. now we have english together and throughout the year we have gotten in a better place and even stay in touch now. i am happy, i am proud. im happy its working out, and im proud of myself for continuing to try. ღ
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twinklelore
This is such a powerful reflection, thank you for sharing it. It’s not easy to admit when we’ve been disconnected, or to trace the emotions that bring us back to life, like anger or grief or even loneliness. I admire how you gave yourself space to feel, to eat, to reflect, and ultimately to heal. Rebuilding connections, especially ones that meant a lot, is brave and beautiful. The way you speak about Jacana and Jambalaya shows so much growth and care. You should be proud of yourself, not just for staying in touch with others, but for staying in touch with yourself. That’s the kind of peace that lasts.
its taken me a long time to get to where i am and ive had to do a lot of thinking into who i really am and happy someone can see that. thank u for finding my writing nice !!!
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