I dont wanna meet you. - 30/4/2025 (poem.)

(What if I meet someone who likes my body?

What if I meet someone who wants to break me?

What if I meet someone who wants to possess over me?

Would I like being with them?

Would I?)

Why am i calling you this late at night?

Im not that needy of you.

I have nothing to talk about.

Im just alone at night.

(I dont wanna.

I dont wanna.

I dont wanna.)

Why do I love you?

I choosed to love you.

I cannot regret it.

but I still do.

(You didnt hurt me.

But i hurted myself by the love I gave you.)

I dont want to turn dry.

I dont want to be affectionate.

They both hurt me.

But being affectionate hurts me the most.

Im sorry for being so selfish.

Im not though.

(Im running low.

I cant help but give love, a lot of love.

My heart is itchy.)

I was the one that wanted you.

I was the one who said I love you.

I was the one. 

You returned that back.

(But I can't help cry.)

Is there any point in giving someone love?

You gain trust.

How much value does trust have?

How much is it going to benefit me?

For how long?

I'm sorry for being selfish.

Now I am since I'm realizing it for myself. 

If you told me, would I believe you?

Im better alone.

Im lonely, thats going to affect you.

I give too much, not expecting a lot.

But i dont know if im expecting or not.

I treat you like my love, but we are just friends.

Im not taking it how I should take it.

How should I take it?

(What would happen if I didnt listened.

I pretended I did.

But wouldn't that hurt me too?

Hurting others isnt good.

This isnt me.)

Getting a text from you isnt as exciting.

You remembering stuff isnt as exciting.

You talking isnt as exciting.

You existing isnt as exciting.

Seeing you isnt as exciting.

You, simply you, isnt as exciting.

(You didnt do anything wrong.

I know that.

But I'm tired of this cycle.

I gave you all the love you needed.

I sacrificed myself.

Now I look myself through you.

I hate that.)