Wasted potential

So the thing is, I've wanted to study abroad since I was like 12 something I've decided ever since that I'm going to study college abroad, now I'm in 12th grade and my finals are in a month and a half, I've been studying like crazy this year because I really reeeaaallllyyy WISH to get good grades, now what I'm more worried about than my grades is what's gonna happen after my finals, now that haighschool is coming to an end I'm feeling very inxous about my future, will I make it into a good college in my country or abroad? Will my family let me study abroad? FUCK NO they won't, what will I do about it? Nothing, just thinking about letting my childhood dream fade like that make me feel sick and helpless, things are not as easy as I thought when I was younger,I thought 18 is gonna be the age I'm gonna live my dreams on, but now I just want time to stop, I don't wanna grow older, I don't wanna be an adult with responsibility, it's scary.