this isnt anything like my usual blogs but i also dont have any "usual blogs" because i never post here so im going to use my freedom of having my two audience members who dont give a shit about what i type and use it to really yell about this game even though it does not deserve my energy.

i LOVE character action games i have a biyearly bayonetta playthrough and love mgrr and i have ultrakill all over my profile and unfortunately played FFXVI and nier replicant is one of my favorite games ever but theres a HUGE problem with that list!! WHERE is DMC!!! i played V forever ago but i

1. sucked ass at games

2. did not know what was happening because it turns out there are 4 other games

and i always thought it was really dumb that i did that because DMC is like THE character action game so i should give it a fair shot!! i begged my friend jumpy to buy the DMC HD Collection for our family share and the DMC show kinda sucking ass gave me the push i needed to finally start my DMC journey! im still in the middle of playing 3 but i really. really needed to take a break where i am to talk about this because ughhhhhh.

DMC

i actually dont have an insane amount of stuff to say about this game but it WAS a really fun really cool peek into the genre's roots. it did a lot of stuff really well, like the atmosphere, and for being the first of its kind, the combat is very fun and really only annoyed me when it was SOOO HAAARD but thats better than an impossibly easy game where you do nothing right! but the whole experience feels like an action movie straight out of the theaters at the time with devils and demons and a fantastic art direction. its like really funny seeing dante lean into being a sarcastic asshole till like the last 30 minutes where he locks in and starts spitting quote after quote like hes on some kind of quote-a.....

i really enjoyed basically every weapon i picked up but never got enough points to upgrade them much bc i was too busy buying items to keep myself alive and the prices of new moves vs the usefulness i assumed they would have did not seem worth it, especially with how cheap revives were in the shop. why would i spend all my savings on a mid AoE attack when i can just buy like 4 revives and know that i wont have to redo the entire mission im about to start if i end up fucking up 4 times 😭! i dont think its a huge deal though the moveset i did have was really cool and i never got bored of it throughout my playtime :)

enemies were also cool i think?? a lot of them felt like they were designed like bullshit but im pretty sure most of that is just skill issue so i cant really blame the game LOL. bossfights were different though holy shit every time i beat i boss i prayed to god he'd let me do it again next time... i DREAD seeing nightmare in my sleep FUCK the nightmare III fight that was crazy.. weird he was the only boss youre not fighting THROUGHOUT the game and you kinda end up fighting him 3 times in a row at the end but ig to beat him you also have to beat the other 3 bosses while fighting him so i guess its a skill check + they get to reuse more content which means its cheaper to make YAYYYYYYYYY

i told myself it was a fun game and i probably wouldnt replay it but the more i trek into the series the more i want to revisit the secret filled mallet island and maybe learn the weapons better, or  beat more secret missions, or just see everything i missed. its clear this game was brought up from the roots of RE with how replayable it is and how cheesy it feels. ultimately, i think its a fine game today, but can see how it was so incredible back then. i think i decided on giving it a 7.5, very glad i played it and was so excited to finally get to the REAL DMC game!!!

DMC2

this game is fucking awful

everyone i know and dont know said to skip this game

dont play this game

i didnt care

i thought I was different

i thought I would be able to beat this game and id be able to come on here and post a really funny review about how bad it was

i couldnt

the only reason im writing this entire blog is because i want you to understand how i felt playing this series. like DMC1 is a flawed but like REALLY good game all things considered. i had my fun and saw the next game in the series and to prepare i read a bit about DMC2's development history and braced for the worst. on its wikipedia page are gems like:

"Since a producer didn't like the "joke-cracking wiseass" Dante of Devil May Cry, he was re-envisioned as grown-up and taciturn.^"

"To Ikeno, "[Dante's] sudden silence almost seemed to imply that something terrible had happened between the events of 1 and 2."

"A lot of people weren't pleased that you couldn't play as Trish in Devil May Cry. Lucia's here to appease them -- well, at least most of the outspoken of crowd. Plus, we wanted to give Dante a James Bond-like appeal and have a different female lead to play alongside in each new game."

"Devil May Cry 2 was originally set in New York City and starred a man in a green jacket instead of Dante, but that was changed due to a number of factors, including the September 11 attacks."

and like MAN are these hard to read after playing 1. except for the first half of the third one playing as trish in 1 wouldve been dope but who the fuck is lucia. that last one really sums up SOME of the issues with DMC2 though. they did not want to make a game about dante. i didnt want to see the story through so im not gonna talk like I saw everything and can tell you how garbage everything is but as far as ive read from places like reddit and articles, the story is almost nonsensical unless you play as lucia. dante is literally only playable and only on the cover because it HAD to be a DMC game. 

but like whatever

DMC1 didnt have a world class story im not really here for it im here for cool combos and a fun time and whatever lets just boot the game up...................................................................

IMAGINE

the worst game youve ever played.

can you name something you found funny about it? something cool? something you wished you saw in a better game? a redeeming quality that despite the trash heap its in you still closed the game laughing about something or thinking about something or ANYTHING like that?

what if that game had NOTHING. like NONE of those qualities. NOTHING to redeem it. NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. ALL YOU DO IS HOLD A BUTTON. AND DO NOTHING. ALL YOU DO IS JUMP. AND DO NOTHING. ALL YOU DO IS WALK FROM POINT A TO POINT B. AND DO NOTHING. ALL YOU DO IS STARE AT THE SCREEN AS ENEMY HEALTH BARS SLOWLY DWINDLE DOWN AS YOU SHOOT THEM AND SHOOT THEM AND SHOOT THEM AND THATS ACTUALLY IT.

no exaggeration. devil may cry 2 is the most boring game. i have EVER. EVER. EVER PLAYED. i think its genuinely the worst. but i cant say that with my chest. i might have played worse before. but this game REALLY. REALLY tested my fucking patience. i only got to mission like FIVE. OUT OF LIKE TWENTY THREE. BUT I COULD NOT HANDLE IT

OH MY GOD

I HAVE PROBABLY 6 CLIPS OF ME SITTING AROUND AND JUST HOLDING THE SHOOT BUTTON

oh blog why wouldnt you just use your other buttons wtf U Control The Buttons U Press

BECAUSE THE SHOOT BUTTON IS LITERALLY JUST THE MOST EFFECTIVE ONE AND ITS NOT EVEN CLOSE

IT DOES SO MUCH DAMAGE AND GENUINELY STUN LOCKS EVERY LIGHT ENEMY AND YOU JUST WATCH THEM GO FLYING AS YOU HOLD THE X BUTTON REALLY BADASS I GUESS?? YAY?? WHO FUCKING CLEARED THIS GAMES RELEASE!!! WHO FUCKING QAED THIS GAME AND APPROVED ITS RELEASE???? OKAY BUT WAIT EVEN THE HEAVY ENEMIES STILL SUCK ASS CUZ LIKE THEYRE JUST TANKY SO NOW YOU HAVE TO Press The Jump Button TO MOVE AROUND AND THATS ALL THEY ADD TO THE GAMEPLAY!!! NOW YOU HAVE TO WAIT 3 MINUTES TO DRAIN AN ENEMIES HEALTH BAR BECAUSE ANYTHING RISKIER IS NOT WORTH THE DAMAGE AND WELL!! FUCK!!!!

i gave up on the infested chopper fight. that one was like. ACTUALLY just. what was i supposed to do except for hold the shoot button for 15 minutes. i wish i could speak to a developer who worked on this and get to the bottom of why they willingly created the worst piece of shit known to man. this game is special in an entirely different way that the rest of the series. i have so many quotes and so many sources that point to how bad the game could possibly be and im still shocked by just how boring it really was. this game is actually the first 1/10 i think ive played in my life and i dont ever want to go back. it makes me very sad.

i dropped it! i couldnt keep playing after mission 5. it broke me. and with that i decided to boot up the next one.

DMC3

i dont want this to be an annoying predictable read so im not going to INSTANTLY start dicksucking DMC3 just cuz its so much better than 2 but itll be kinda hard not to if im honest. im only on mission 8 so far but this game not only feels exactly like a modern character action game but it is easily one of the most fun ive played so far

the music in this game is great so far, the settings take me right back to DMC1, a lot of the same sound effects are even reused. this game feels like a true sequel to the original DMC and takes everything that it succeeded in and brings it up to another level. combos feel amazing to pull off, and the strings are intuitive if youre familiar enough with your weapon of choice. the characters get to actually shine in this game much more with the inclusion of more cutscenes that let the cast actually bleed into the gameplay more and allow a more complex plot than "this guys trying to blow up the world" unfold. vergil is a compelling rival that was a lot of fun to fight in mission 7 even if he was a bit easy, but thats probably only because his fight was so similar to nelo angelo's from DMC1 LMAO.

the enemy design in this one is clearly better than the first game's, i feel like dying to 30 enemies hitting me with the most incredible combo ever happens far less often in this game. staying in the air, jumping, moving and comboing are key to survival and encourages an aggressive but wary playstyle. similar to 1, just spamming the attack buttons WILL get you killed and actively using defensive mechanics will keep you alive, but DMC3 gives you more way more defensive options in the Trickster and Royalguard style settings, so mixing up your combos with perfect blocks and dodges to get extra style AND stay in combos makes the fights in this game feel perfect. a genuinely impressive experience so far, especially coming from 2. bosses also feel way better than 1, your attacks feel much more effective but so do theirs, making each fight a dance of damage to test who will go down first.

im not anywhere close to being done with this game but im enjoying it. i wont rate it and if i end up writing about 4 and 5 ill def finish this review but like. its good. its great. im liking it.

thank u for reading my breakdown! i actually just wanted to write about 2 for a bit because i dont know if you can tell but it made me really upset but im glad i wrote about the other games too because writing these really makes me reflect on games ive played and give me new appreciation for the experiences i play through and it makes me love games all over again. if anyone here has played the DMC games id love to hear your thoughts on them, and if youve played any character action games besides DMC, id love some recommendations :)

i hope u guys have a great day!!