Goodbye Rare's DK design (i'm in tears rn bro)

Ok, in my last donkey kong related post I said I didn't mind the new bananza design but i was lowkey lying. I saw they were making a new DK game and I snatched me a pair of rose-colored glasses so fast, but now that my hype has faded I can properly reflect...

So a switch firmware update (20.0.0) just came out and they added a bunch of new features that I don't fucking care about. Anyways, DK, my goat, is of course my profiles icon. His 3D render, mind you--and I get JUMPSCARED! JUMPSCARED, I TELL YA! BY THIS...

AND GOD HIMSELF STRIKES ME WITH A REVELATION THAT WILL TAKE MORE THAN A MILLENNIA TO SINK INTO MY SOUL: Rare-era Donkey Kong is fucking DEAD!!!

This design? is not bad! let me get that straight... but is it Donkey Kong? No... It doesn't speak on his personality as honest as his "older" design did. DK is a goofball who tramples his way through jungles and other hijinks using his ape-brain and brawns to navigate his goofy world. He's big pecks, small brains! His donkey grin spoke on his monkey confidence and the rest spoke on his brawns. his NEW DESIGN is giving WITTY PIXAR PROTAGONIST!!!

Ik this isn't a big deal or anything but IT IS TO ME!!!

bro, it's OFF like donkey kong, I actually can't bear this being the new standard, we're never going to see normal DK again, the only thing that can save me right now is kremlings making a comeback (unlikely)

I guess after the first design tease we were doomed from the start... Somehow, i'm going to have to force myself to adapt if i want to continue consuming DK media but it will be a long and tiresome journey.

R.I.P Rare-era Donkey Kong

1994-2025