to be small

There’s a tug at my jeans, I look down 

And there’s me 

But with a mind so small

Echoing a plea 

"Don’t let them leave me,

please don’t let them change” 

The idea of a new life 

Puts my heart in a race 

I pick up the past and 

Cradle it on my shoulder

Speaking with words that took years to find

“We’re gonna be alright, 

We’re gonna stay alive,

When the second heart leaves us, we will survive"

Because the small one in my chest 

Cries when the future is bright 

But the blankets of sadness and wrapped around tight

A false warmth 

Like blood from a wound

…

There’s a child that looks like me 

And cries whenever I venture out from the comfort of daydreams 

and stillness in time 

It’s the primal fear that I’ll be lost

When the people around me find higher hills than mine 

But why not share the view 

Of our morning sky? 

…

I’m not a worrier

I just have too many thoughts

And I’m used to my head 

And it’s scary little plots 

That make my breathe take a pause 

For a nonexistent cause 

I wish to be free of my pain

But who am I without it

…

I want to be loved 

And I want to love more 

I don’t want to worry 

About the neighbors next door 

Or the future of us 

Or the jobs that we take 

Or what is at stake 

I want more to love

I want more to take 

You've made me realize the grave mistake 

Of taking the hurt 

As an escape 

...