Ramblings 「Part 1/?」

Successfully moving along in my art commission grind feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Finished an icon for a commissioner and finished a huge art piece for my boyfriend. I didn't get paid for the one I did for my boyfriend but any money he'd give to me, would be directed back at him in some way or another. Feels pointless. But! Creating an account on this website has also given my brain a space to just relax cause I don't see numbers applied to everything I do. Stress off my shoulders in a way that I just sit behind a screen and act a little bit like I know how to talk to people and it feels a bit nice to have somewhere to talk into a void. Been having troubles where I have to walk on eggshells when I talk to some friends in some art communities I dabble in. Won't be going into that because it's probably just a weird personal mental battle. 

Sometimes I think about streaming my art more but my following doesn't allow for that because I'm known on twitter primarily for my Darius (from League of Legends) fanart and not a ton more beyond that. I used to spend my time being stressed that I couldn't make any art if it wasn't of him because I knew it wouldn't get traction. Giving up slightly while also not caring meant that I'm drawing fanart of other things now. I'm not a huge "original content art" kinda person. Though I truly wish I was so I didn't have to live on the support of other people's characters. To go off on a slight tangent; I've been meaning to make a small comic about a character I have called the Salt King but he's not fleshed out enough for my liking and my knowledge of comics is scarce. He's a character that I long to show character development for 'cause he's supposed to be an asshole of a character. 

Another thing on my mind is I have thought about doing mini-reviews on figures I own so I don't have to keep feeling bad that they're just sitting on shelving collecting dust. So far, I think the most statues/figures I own are ones from Dragon Ball and Fate. I'm not big on Fate because I haven't watched much more than Fate/Extra: Last Encore. My boyfriend is the one that loves Fate (primarily Saber). I enjoy Cu/Lancer as much as I can without knowing a ton about him. From a design standpoint, if that makes more sense. My adoration for Saber Nero grew after watching Last Encore, so I understand where my boyfriend is coming from more so now. That love for Fate has amassed a solid 10+ mini figures from a blind box series of them. There are some Nendoroids as well as some SHFiguarts figures. It's a lot when I realize I have nowhere to put it all too. Ideas all come to mind so easily but I'll see if I can stay on track for everything I want to do. Perhaps I'll keep blogs on animes I've searched into, what I like already, what I plan to watch. Same goes for games seeing how I play a lot. There's a great desire to dabble in PC building too. I bought and built my current PC with the help of my ex when we were still together and it didn't last very long and I am awful at taking care of it. When I come around to building a new one, I'll go through with that upkeep and do a bunch of research. I'll hopefully have the help of my boyfriend too! 

Been listening to those generic "lofi hip hop beats to study to" streams and I unironically love it right now. Quite a change from the Heavy Metal and Punk music I usually listen to. This is the iconic one, being Chilled Cow but there have been more I've dabbled in. 

 

Looking forward to what I can talk about and do on here in the future. Maybe even share my art processes as practice for future art projects like patreon. ♥