Spell To Banish An Asshole From Your Life

Gather up the nastiest shit you can find in your house. Pins.  Nails.  Pepper. Piss. Poison Ivy.  Toenail Clippings. Your Dog's Shit. You get the idea.  Put all that shit in a small jar along with the name of the target person rolled up on a small piece of paper, fill it with vinegar (OR piss, if you've been drinking a lot and have some to spare), close the jar and place a small black candle on top (to repel the negative energy the target person has been throwing at you), and light it.  State your intention.  For example:

"Sacred candle burning bright
Pierce the darkness with your light
Break the bond and set me free
Get ______ the fuck away from me
Such is my will, so mote it be." 
When the candle has burned out on its own, you are ready to complete the ritual.  I use birthday candles because I want to get that shit done fast.  Taper candles take too long to burn! Chime candles also work well.  To complete the ritual and seal the spell, you can either break the jar (preferably at a crossroads, but not necessary) by placing it in a bag and smashing it with a hammer or other object, or throwing it down.  Clean up and safely dispose of the mess you've made when you're done.  Or, you can bury it on the property of the target person to work its juju on him or her every day,  or you can bury it near the entrance to your own home to block the person from entering your home.  Of course, talking directly to the asshole is always the first thing to try, but it's good to have a spell like this for back up when the asshole doesn't understand just how badly you want them gone.  That's my tip for the day.  Happy Witching!

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