This is probably the saddest and most impactful poem ive ever written, enjoy.

if i ever die 

know i love you

present not past

if i die

you now talk about me in past

i could never love you just before

i am dead but love's still sore

and it all went by so fast

i just couldn't make it last

and i'm sorry i left you alone

but i have a heart of my own

i hope you take flowers to my grave

at least every sunday

please don't forget

and 

if i die and it was self inflicted 

know i no longer have to be addicted

now i'm free

in death, rotting, in debt

the emotional tsunami i left behind

will be the last time i’ll make you cry

you will sob, then absorb

the tiny pieces of half formed thoughts

you may scream, you may rage

you may break, and you may crave

you may not see me again.

for the longest time in my brain

“what happens after death?”

if something, never leaves my head

because what if nothing comes

and it's just an ending

a story, forgot.

an ending of a plot

what if it is all corpses, rot

mother, when I die

know i love you

don't give up

please survive

you are my warmth

father when i leave

please don't ever move my things

i love you, goodbye

give my things to all my friends

all but that scribbled guitar

i'll never play again

i hope you learn to play 

follow your dreams

you’ll be safe, try and fight 

till the end.

to my sisters, all of them

know im sorry

please be brave

and to my baby brother

sorry you lost your godmother

i love you, all of you

forgive me, i tried 

again and again

in an endless tiring spiral of what i am supposed to forget

to my best friend (m.i.) 

know you saved me

so many times

I love you, take my cats

to all my other friends,

the ones who really cared

don't give up

don't be scared

i'll look after you

until the story ends

i'm sorry, please forget