my toxic traits >⩊<

my toxic traits (yes, i have some, let's talk about it)

hi. this is my first blog on here and instead of pretending i have it all together, i am just gonna be honest- i don't. lol.

so here is a roast (soft) of myself coz growth starts with admitting you are the problem (sometimes) (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;)

1. i overthink everything. 

i will read a text 6 times and still not reply coz i am trying to make it sound casual but not TOO casual but also not dry but also not weird (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) and then after all that i finally respond with a whole 5 paragraph essay that no one asked for. overexplaining is my love language, apparently.

2. i make plans i secretly hope get cancelled.

i will act super excited to hang out and then pray you forget. i only go out with like 4-5 people-  everyone else makes me socially glitch. the thought of hanging out just makes me sick to my stomach sometimes. IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S MY SOCIAL ANXIETY ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

3. i never answer calls.

if my phone rings, i will stare at it like it's a threat. why are you calling me? just text me. please.

4. i eat one delicious thing and suddenly life isn’t that bad.

 i could be going through an emotional breakdown and then BOOM — one good meal and i am like: “wait maybe i was just hungry and dramatic. food will never let me down.

5. i act unbothered but i care way too much.

i pretend i don't care but i noticed you left me on read. hmph ರ⁠_⁠ರ. i noticed 2 hours, 17 mins and 38 secs ago. no, i am not mad. i am just writing a novel in my head about what i did wrong. i am chill but also incredibly un-chill. depends on the hour.

6. i treat myself like royalty (even when i am broke).

i know i have to survive the next fifteen days with this very specific amount of money. i know i will need it to order lunch or dinner- depending on which time my hostel serves food that tastes like it was cooked out of pure revenge. BUT STILL i will go to aesthetic cafes and spend unnecessary money just to feel like a pinterest board (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) but hey at least i got nice pics and i am totally okay with surviving the next few days on instant noodles. priorities.

7. i think every minor inconvenience is a personal attack.

missed my bus? the universe hates me. stubbed my toe? i am the main character in a tragic movie. out of snacks? this is the worst day of my life. i am not dramatic, i am just deeply committed to the bit.

in conclusion:

i contain multitudes: a lil toxic, a lil dramatic, a lil funny but overall trying my best. if you related to any of these, HIII- we are now spiritually bonded. if not- you must be a very healthy person and i admire you from afar (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

thanks for reading my first blog. drop your toxic traits in the comments so i feel less alone PLEASE.