struggling

brooo, maybe i'm not alone in this sooo... are there anyone here who suffers from depression? like, really struggling with this shit. 

i've been suffering for depression for like 5 years now and it's horrible. yeah, ofc there are sometimes moments when i feel better for a while. for example my longest remission for me lasted about six month, but sooner or later this familliar feeling of complete apathy and despair catch me anyway no matter what i do. at moments like this i feel like complet shit, cos i not only harm myself, but i can unwittingly push away my loved ones with rudeness and aggression outbrust :( probably because of this i have no friends at all now. it sucks. really. maybe i need to just accept it idk

itk i have been seeing my therapist for 4 years and taking my pills that make me feel a liitle better. btw have anyone here been in the asylume too?? kinda funny and scary place for me... i went there at the peak of my depression, when i also became schizophrenic and super sui///dal. i was only there for two months, but those days were a nightmare for me D: