creativity!!!

Oh my God! Shortly after I posted the previous blogpost, I realized there was something else I wanted to write about... it might be short but fuck it, I still want to write about it! 

Creativity!? Hobby!?

I have recently been thinking about getting into a creative hobby, as I have been feeling extremely unfulfilled with some of my current activities I do... but I guess the question is, what should I do??

The main issue that I think a lot of people have is that they start on something, but then the learning curve is way too steep and they just... kinda... stop. I also have this issue, there's so many things I want to do that are creative but I feel that I don't have neither the time or energy to put into it and improve. Work is draining, and the remaining time I do have for free time I use on just relaxing, talking to friends and watching stuff. 

Everyone says this, but I wish to maybe get into drawing? There's so many wonderful artists out there that are inspirations, but this hobby would require so much patience and effort... I get frustrated easily so definitely a more difficult thing to get into. I was also thinking writing, as I have a degree in literature so I have some idea about what I'd be doing... but again, creativity and the actual skills to write are lacking. I hate feeling frustrated about something I'm supposed to love and enjoy doing?

I like to say that you don't need to be good at something to enjoy it, but I guess I'm a hypocrite because I do not feel that way whatsoever. I need to be good at doing what I'm doing, or at least feel some form of mastery or competence. It's such a stupid hurdle that would require so much energy to get over, so in the end I just keep relying on the zero effort hobbies that don't contribute to any development. I feel like a total failure. 

And then I was thinking, technically having a blog is a creative endeavor? Perhaps not since I'm just writing what I'm thinking and not really creating something in the same sense that an artist does... but I do feel that this is maybe a pretty good start for me to get into something. Maybe if I keep saying it enough, I can convince myself that I can muster up motivation, discipline and energy to improve on one thing. One thing is all I need, I think. To be completely honest, it doesn't even have to be something creative! I feel learning a language would be cool, but the same issues persist... 

Maybe I will try to write more here, clearly tonight I have so many thoughts that I just needed to get this all out, but whatever!!! It will be okay. And if it won't, I shall make it okay!!!! ok that's it for tonight :3 crazy day, two posts in one day, wauwwww...

Oh also!! I had a great idea... I will perhaps keep this blogpost as a bulletin thing where I list my goals in terms of creative tasks and see how far I get into them... heck, I might even finish something! Here's the list:

• Write a pretty beefy review/analysis of a book/show

• I want to learn Spanish...

• Start writing a short story, or at least the start of a novel

I just realized I can pin a blogpost... Maybe I'll have a huge list of what I want to do and just check it off when it happens.. My friends could keep me accountable in that sense too!! Genius idea Kimi, genius... /j

xoxo,

Kimi