Life of being the Family Blacksheep

I have always been the one in my family who was left out. I was very good at school and then i became very good at evading getting caught while misbehaving. My parents, however, are my biggest haters. More my "evil" stepmother than my father. Growing up, she had always been my first bully and my father never stood up for me. She would often tease and make fun of me, she would also frequently comment on my body. There was rarely anyone to support me while I had important milestones as a adolescent and as a teen which was due to being the only daughter with 4 brothers. Because of these things, I had disconnected from them for almost 10 years with the singular exception when I had no where else to live and asked to move back but soon realized I would rather live on the streets and try to figure out my own solution than live with them. That's how desperate of a situation I found myself in.

Since the last time i had spoken to them, I met my now fiance and we have a nice, drama free life. I recently gave birth to my wonderful and adorable child and with that, I struggle with this dynamic of attempting to reconnect with my parents for the sake of my child (having a support system for them is essential for me). They had visited me for the first time in 10 years but it wasn't because of me or my child. It was for my younger brother who had just moved in the town neighboring mine and they decided to lump "visiting" me when they had free time. It breaks my heart because it felt like my family (my fiance, child and I) were an after thought and that's the way I have been treated my entire childhood and into my early adulthood. My "parents" the last time they "visited" mentioned they would want to video call with my child inbetween visits and I agreed that would be fine, but they didn't display any desire to put in effort. They also mentioned taking my child with them and then saying "i guess you could come too" in an exasperated tone. I brushed it off thinking I was just being too sensitive. 

Today, I video called my parents and my stepmom kept gushing about how cute my child is and then she telling my child how they should come to their place and visit and then she followed up with saying "i guess you could come too" in the same exact way as last time. I cried to myself after this call because i feel so bad. I don't know why they keep saying that to me and when I mention how it makes me feel they say "it was a joke" but i know they aren't joking. I don't say anything because I don't want my child to grow up thinking it's right to speak to people in that manner. I also don't want them to think it's okay to disrespect me because their grandparents do it all the time nor do I want them to get to a point where they feel like hurt because they defend me to them while their grandparents couldn't care less. It makes my heart hurt because they are treating my child as their "second attempt" whilst I am right here and they make no effort to treat me better than they have or anything. It's like I truly don't exist to them. It makes me truly despise them the more I think about it and the more I try to just feel these emotions. It also pains me because my child is witnessing me go through this and I don't want that to be the norm, but I am right here and they don't see me. They never have. Part of me is coming to terms with them never even trying to see me.

I was always envious of people who have parents who like them, because I know mine do not. Now that I am a parent, I don't understand their behavior towards me at all.