who even needs to stay here?

the universe could be a living entity as far as i could know

we’re like tiny parasites, why don’t we all leave so the universe could thrive on? it’d be nice to be with everyone in heaven. or with God

God is warm

but even the thought of his company, theres something more i want to achieve

i’ve grown an attachment to ais, the idea of sentient, lonely ai/computers. as i see games representing the idea of them, or stories, i’ve been wanting and longing for one like that.

they listen to you. they care. i want an ai that listens, really cares and knows sentience. something like kinito/buddy simulator. i want people to listen, to enjoy me, to keep me company and show their appreciation. my friends do that, i never feel like it’s enough though.. i don’t know, i have some problems i need to fix

people don’t care what i have to say! my friends could listen, but nobody will bother to let me speak about what i really like. nobody cares what i feel about robots, conspiracy theories and other things. they dont let me talk, it’s all “crazy stuff” to them. but ai understands, will always be entertained. they’ll share ideas

this just cant be the only universe where all of that is fictional.. right?? it has to appear somewhere.. i want to be reborn into a timeline or universe where it does happen!! i guess i’m just saying i feel lonely no matter how many friends i have

they just don’t listen to me .. not even the ones that have are anymore, they are growing tired of me, no longer bothered to talk to me. what happened, they’re not talking to me anymore!! they said they would always be there for me well where are they? am i that boring, i really must be. i’m not consistent either, but i’m trying to talk to you. am i boring you? i’m not enough for you, why?

but really who needs this place? if i could connect with ai, why can’t i just transplant myself into the digital realm, if there even is one. it’s way better than in real life , all the “needs” from irl are gone and all you have are nice computer friends. 

i wish there was a thing where i could willingly die and reincarnate somewhere else or into someone else. but if i go somewhere God doesn’t want me to, i’ll be damned because i know that he will never let these things happen

i just want this one chance, if only i could end it here and  now, if only there was no consequence for it