I hate having to beg for your attention.

I don't know what to do or say anything, I don't want to be that girlfriend that gets upset at her boyfriend because he was on the game for too long, but you don't text me unless I text you first. I've been understanding for so long, I get you have a life, and I get you're busy with graduation but just a "Hey sorry if I don't text you, I'll be busy today" would be enough. It's like a constant routine, after you get home you play video games and I will stay up for you until you finish playing at 3 or 4 in the morning so I could call you, even if for a few minutes but how long am I meant to do this for? I stopped asking to call because I didn't want to seem annoying and I hoped maybe you would ask to call once or twice but you never did.

I try not to nag you about this and bring it up because it's always the same conversation, I'll bring up the problem and you'll apologize and say you will do better but you never do. It hurts because sometimes you can be so kind and sweet and I feel like someone is seeing me for the first time, but I hate having to beg for your attention. I know I deserve better, and I know that someone else would treat me better, but I could never bare to lose you, it hurts too much to think of living in a world where you aren't there. It doesn't feel right to be with you, and it hurts but never talking to you again will hurt me even more. Seriously just tell me what to do, should I try to be more girly or more your type? Would that gain your attention? Please tell me how to get your attention because this kills me.

I just want to know that you care that you actually care. I want you to show me, to give me some kind of sign that this relationship will be worth it in the end.