trans stereotypes in daily life as a highschooler

>be me

>trans man in high school

>have a friend, let's call her Jenda

>Jenda is not intimately familiar with transgender people

>Jenda does not have any other trans friends

>Jenda has opinions on transgender people, however

>a few weeks ago in art class

>Jenda does not like trans men that are feminine and draw themselves accurate to their bodies

>laugh and smile and wear a skirt the next day

>Jenda thinks thats okay

>Jenda thinks thats okay because im not like one of those trans people

>a week ago outside of the art room

>2 of our other friends are there

>one of those friends go by all pronouns

>the conversation somehow drifts to trans people

>Jenda pipes up

>”you know what i hate? People who make their gayness or their transness their whole personality.”

>Jenda names someone off who is also my friend

>my friend likes to talk about guys as a guy

>Jenda hasn’t talked about anything but her crush for the past week

>laugh and smile and casually mention the every day struggles of being trans

>Jenda thinks thats okay

>she probably thinks that because im not like one of those trans people

>yesterday at lunch

>”i was talking to my mom about you”

>oh no

>”she was just asking about what pronouns you go by”

>oh ok

>”i told her you go by he/him”

>good

>Jenda clarified to her mother 

>“but that you're not like one of those trans people that get overly upset when you address them improperly”

>oh.

>have had enough of this shit

>”god, i hate trans stereotypes.”

>that’ll teach her a lesson

>maybe she’ll realize how saying those trans people is overgeneralizing and hurtful

>”its not a stereotype, its just that there’s so many like that.”

>what

>you mean to tell me that normally communicating your displeasure towards being referred to wrongly is the minority of trans people in your eyes?

>trans people would never fucking survive if the majority were so hostile

>thats literally fucking impossible

>if every single trans person in the world exploded every single time a teacher or friend or parent referred to them incorrectly, we would all be shot on sight

>its disgusting to even try to idealize that

>force yourself to calm down

>laugh and smile and pretend to be curious

>”really? There are really that many people like that? How many have you met?”

>watch her expression pause

>”if theres truly so many, how many people do you know that do that?”

>”oh, i dont, i just choose not to know them.”

>...

>you mean to tell me…

>youve avoided every single trans person youve ever met

>because you assumed theyd be aggressive and explosive before you even spoke to them

>lunch ends just in time for you to fume your way back to spanish class

>refuse to show youre angry

>refuse to show that youre annoyed by what she said

>because you know that would just mean you fit perfectly into her stereotype.

Does anyone else have friends like this? Has anyone had a similar experience?