What are you afraid of?

The endless amounts of ways in which I can fail, my friends, my family, my church, the world, and God. For each step I take is laden with the fear that it might not be right, or even worse that it could have been better. Could you not have done so-and-so to get this-and-this? If only you did thing-and-thing, you would have received that-and-that. Either way, it was inadequate. I did not live up to the idea in my head and now I am afraid to do anything because all my experiences came up short. So now every action that involves risk takes an enormous amount of courage. Which most of the time requires all my strength. And on those days when I don't have it, I fall into a hole deep enough to keep me from jumping out, but low enough to see those who pass me by. Yet, someone always offers a ladder that I'm fearful to climb because I know I will be back in that hole, in that place where help feels like a punishment.