Im back

first of all, im not a boy and never was. I wanted to be one but I just couldn't lie anymore. I have a friend group im comfortable with, I know my way around school, im not as nervous as I was 5 months ago, I've gain friends, dropped some, learned to forgive and forget, I've become more creative and shtt, I lost hella weight, dyed my hair, changed the way I dressed, my music taste, everything. if you told me 5 years ago id be a girl with dyed hair, playing softball and fearing for her life at school because of some boy she dated for a week and was basically a rebound girl, I wouldn't believe you. I haven't seen my niece in a long time, im going insane. I miss my friends, I finally saw that boy from elementary that loves me like I love him yesterday at my softball game, I hugged him, he tried picking me up, that didn't go so well. I gained more self awareness, I don't care enough to please other people yet I still help because I do fear people. 

I think about all the horrible shit that D is saying about me. God only knows. I just want to drop it. I wish I never met him. I wish I never liked him, I wish and wish but shit is in the past and I can't change it now. I only want the best for him. Though he's probably praying that I die. I have more to say but im scared my mom is gonna come into my room. ill write more in the morning. 

love, Isobel. <3