for love of ham biscuits do not get turtlebeach headphones. - a rant

my dad (very kindly) got me new headphones a couple months ago. they are/were turtlebeach stealth 500s, were working well, good battery life, everything was fine and dandy. up until recently. keep in mind that these were purchased (at the earliest) back in JANUARY. recently, they started not playing audio. i looked at a reddit thread (because that's the only place you can get half decent info quickly with the ai pandemic) it said to download firmware for the headphones. firmware? for headphones? a little silly that its necessary but okay. i download the firmware; it says my headphones need an update. okay. the headphones start working again whilst updating but give up when the update fails. try again. it succeeds but does nothing. get my dad. reboot computer. reboot headphones. repeat like three times. start working again. then they do, but they're extremely blown out. try again. finally get them working. they stop working again. this process happens everytime i try and use 'em. 

tl;dr: they work, then stop working, then sound really blown out, then stop working everytime i try to use them