fucked up nice kinda day

didnt go 2 skool but i did go 2 a skool . orientation shtuff 4 next year cauze i dont do my work . i waznt a fan iz tha same eggsact shit jus a different place .  worse, even, cauze theze people are deluded in2 thinking theyre gonna fix me . but im tha crazy 1 !!! wild .

tha thing abt tha orientation that got 2 me waz that i waz told "the ability is clearly there, she could pass putting in 20% of the effort as an average student!" n iz just . harrowing 2 me . how tha worst mental pain ive experienced, pouring out everything i had left in me after being wrung through this bullshit against my will, iz considered less than 20% of my effort . no matter how many timez i say that it hurts n that i cant do it, itll only evr be uzed 2 hurt me .

and of course tha dress code iz tha same . so iz nawt liek im going 2 any of my classez anywayz--theyre gonna chuck me in iss tha whole day . if they dont, theyll try uzing letting me dress myself how i want az leverage 4 doin my work .

BUT, aside from all that, day waz ok . me n my dad went 2 ihop after, in which he 4 once waz normal abt tha way i eat food . that waz nice . then we went on a walk thru a nearby park he uzually runz thru during hiz lunch break from work n saw chipmunkz n swanz n geese and sum kool lepidoptera . while we were walking i got 2 rant abt tha nature of selfhood n that waz a fun tiem . convo dissipated tho when we differed on morality, hez woefully convinced that being a good person meanz basing your moralz off of societal norm alone .

and he wondered y i said he needz 2 think more .

after all that fun junk we went home, n iz been p chill from there . had burgerz, rewatched john wick, n now im listening 2 Life in The World to Come, fun tiem .