Hurt That Was Caused

20 years ago I endured one of the worst situations that not only a female but a child should never have to go through. Being molested than eventually raped is something that no one can get over and the mental trauma of it can never be healed. Someone i trusted ,my family trusted, who would always have a smile on his face, having evil behind the grin. Its no pain like not being in control and to have someone violate you and then LIE about it . Make you seem crazy and like a liar and then STILL continue to abuse their power. THE ULTIMATE SLAP IN THE FACE! The anger i held after that made me a danger to not only men but society itself. I hate so much hate in my heart and wanted to make him suffer the way I did. But how? For years and countless hours i would think of a plan to eventually get even , thinking of things until i was consumed with anger and revenge, i became a danger to everyone around me. NTM this person was STILL around due to the relationship in the family. A family which he divided and caused so much pain. I had someone tell me " when someone wrong you and you fill your heart with hate you're taking their sin as your own" One of the best lessons to learn, FORGIVENESS. All those years i was hurt, anger, bitter, living in a trance of revenge, he was living a guilt free life, unbothered. While i was slowly killing myself with stress, slowly alienating myself bc of anger , he was Content. I had to then ask God for change,for forgiveness not only for me but him also bc long as it was heavy on my heart it would wear me down. I had to learn that some things are out of your control, somethings are unavoidable, and that's OK. Just bc someone THOUGHT that they devalued me , only I CAN ADJUST MY TRUE WORTH. Only I was anger and atp only I was suffering. ONLY I! I had to forgive him in order to better myself. To this day i always wonder what if it wouldn't have happened? But it did and i had to pray , seek help and forgive this human that TRIED to take my Value. By forgiving him and moving forward and letting life deal with him, MY VALUE HAS INCREASED and my FAITH is there and STRONGER!