hello, i’m back<3

i know everyone, if any, that used to know me is probably gone by now, but i think i might start using this a little again! after the hack happened i kinda moved on to other sites, and a lot of shit happened there too…personal shit. i no longer have anyone. they’ve either all have their accounts deleted, blocked me, or just stopped talking. i have never felt more lonely now than in any moment before

isn’t that contradictory? to be able to say “i’m lonely” to potentially thousands of people. everyone sees. everyone notices. but they’ll scroll away anyway. you’re just a suggestion to them. in reality, it’s not contradictory at all. even if they have seen your message, they won’t remember it within the next couple of minutes. lost in the infinite babel of other peoples messages. 

art is lonely now too. fake art gets constantly recycled. spat out, reused, until the parasites have sucked it dry, and then it’s tossed away. you can’t blame artists for being afraid of being famous. because sometimes, when you chase things like that, your art is lost in the crowd, and eventually, you’ll be lost in it too.

is it so wrong to want somebody that actually cares about you? when you’re punished for it over and over again, it feels like it is.