𐙚⋆°｡⋆♡ gabichan's diary - the past

on my ride home tonight i was thinking about how lucky i am to see the city lights twinkle on each side of the highway. its a lot different than when i lived in a smaller town, where my way home was dark with trees covering each side. it reminds me of how much ive grown. but despite all my growth, theres still something consistently looming over me. 

in the past, i have been a bad person. in my late teen years in my first relationship, i was unstable, manipulative, and unfaithful, battling undiagnosed and unmedicated bpd. there are some people out there that wont let me forget it, and will attach terrible labels to me for life. but then, what should i do? should i just... do nothing? do i not deserve to heal and be happy? if ive changed and made peace with my past, am i allowed to say im a different person than i was back then, even if others dont see it? it tortures me everyday. maybe its not all black and white.