"IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM!" and it (kinda) is

one day you're 14 and super emo and being depressed for no reason, blasting someone's screams directly into your ears thru headphones, feeling like not going to an mcr concert is gonna be the death of you, and the next day you're 20 and someone talking about your favourite band is like a warm gust of nostalgic wind from the past, not an active obsession you've built your whole personality on. do you get it?

i've been 20 for almost 3 months now, and in the grand scheme of life i'm still super young, but recently i've realised that i'm starting to get older (and my brain is developing from a teenager's to an adult's one lol). and this switch happened almost overnight. i've realised that my interests no longer define my entire personality and i'm feeling so much more free since then. it's like i'm rediscovering myself. this shift has also been aided by the fact that i stopped conforming to a certain 'aesthetic' and started developing my own sense of style and personality these past couple of years. i am no longer driven by certain expectations of me. that's normal for teens who are trying out available options out there, who don't really know themselves that well to develop their completely own thing at this stage of life. but you get older and you find that oversize everything doesn't really fit you and you would rather show your body a bit, your hormones calm down and you find that your life isn't the worst life possible, so those depressive songs that brought you so much comfort don't really serve you anymore, they only bring you down now. 

and it's all beautiful, because you will find new songs that you will scream at the top of your lungs to, you will try out a new hair color that you will like even more than the one you had before, you will change your routine and you will choose what's best for you, but that doesn't mean that you will forget who you were when you were younger, no, but she has stepped down and needs you to guide you both now.