★彡 WHY ARE CRINGE BOYS SO LOUD? 彡★

Seriously.

It’s always the ones who haven’t touched a boob since birth telling girls what “high value femininity” is.

Like ok, Jake—you wear Axe like it’s holy water and still think fingering is a personality.

You know the type:

• plays Subway Surfers during class
• “I respect women” but calls them “females” like it’s a slur
• asks for your snap just to send blurry mirror selfies in red LED lighting
• listens to Andrew Tate and calls it “philosophy”
• says “you good?” after giving you actual emotional damage

They’re basically walking Monster cans with Wi-Fi.

Things I’ve said this week:

“you smell like monster energy and repression.”

“no I won’t sit on your lap just because you said ‘please’ like a sad dog.”

“you’re not mysterious. you’re just emotionally constipated.”

“I’d rather kiss a blender.”

If you’re reading this and feel personally attacked?

Good.

If you’re reading this and giggling?

You probably wear eyeliner and overthink at 2AM. Text me.

stay pink. stay evil.