I lost it for a moment◉_◉...

04/19/25

Fulgur Ovid is graduating...

When I learned that, I legitimately felt my heart drop and was about to vomit. I was lying in bed, restless, and was very much panicking. The thought of "I need to go outside" popped into my head. I thought about it and then quickly left the apartment to go sit on the steps and process. I genuinely think I was about to have a panic attack. I was able to calm myself down.

I then just sat there, talking to myself about what I loved about him and about what I'd so dearly miss. I was telling myself not to get stuck in the sadness. And the biggest of them all, I cried. I took a couple of deep breaths and just sat there. I sat in the sun and I felt so much lighter. Before, I felt like I was suffocating, but now I felt like a weight was lifted after that little moment to myself. I then talked to my mom and dad about it. I feel so much calmer now than earlier. I'm just... It's hard to imagine Nijien without him, especially Notyx. 

    I just wanted to share. I hope everyone else is having a good day ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡. I'm drained, so I'm going to sleep because I keep dozing off while writing this.