My writing ( ╥ω╥ )

I don’t know why but I get really insecure about the way i type. I feel like if i don't type with big words or type formally or just type like im smart I’ll get made fun of. I know what I want to say (but also sometimes I feel like i maybe don’t even know what im saying and sometimes even contradicting myself) but i get scared that im not using the right words or using other words to make me sound smarter. I wish i was smarter and had a wider vocabulary. This is actually one of the main reasons why i give up on writing little stories that i want to write. Im scared that my writing would sound bad or childish somehow. I feel like im not smart enough to write books or novels or whatever but i want to be able to write. Ive got so many ideas but i feel like they would actually suck or I wouldn't be able to explain the story properly because of my small vocabulary. I would have to keep going on google to search for synonyms of words over and over again because i wouldn't want to repeat the same words. Sometimes i feel stupid because of this or maybe I should say most of the time especially when someone says a word that I don’t know about and i have to ask what it means and its not only a problem with the words i do know and don’t but also using commas and those other little things. I know how to use them only when listing things like “pizza, orange juice, cookies” but when I try to use them in other ways I feel like im using them wrong. I just hope i don’t stay like this forever. I might have to learn words on flashcards or something.