I still love you, please tell me if i can come back home

So its 11:49pm in a saturday night, and saturday night by misfits is playing on my headphones.

I can remeber when i saw you last. I was hanging out with my dumb friends close to the fountain, talking about... I don't even remember what I was talking about. But I remember you were talking with some guys (that i dont know and they probably dont know a shit about me), you were wearing a black tank top, and we had the same hair (but it looks better on you). The moment I relized it was you, something went on in me, trying to look like I was having so much fun. Nao said you saw me but you just went to shy to come and say hi. But being honest I think you just dont want to be close to me, ever again.

And of course I understand why, I understand it so well that I wont get close to you. Even if I still want to rest my head on your shouder and be hugged by you casually standing on the middle of a baoulevar. 

But lets be honest, you were just playing around and I tried to believe I was too, but I believed all the lie like the fool I am. I just feel so stupid when I think about it. I was a creep, and I'm probably still am. You didn't deserved to carry with some weird and mentally ill girl's love, even if you never complained and you tell me not to apologize and everything is ok. I'm so sorry.

Funny how I bear all the blame and still feel guilty after four months. When you are the only person to tell me not to be sorry and not to apologize. I think you were rying not to make me feel guilty, but I do.

You (being honest) broke something in (my heart) me and you stared at my boobs when I needed you to not, you were the only person i needed not to do that. You were an idiot, but you were the idiot I knew was an idiot and the idiot I wanted and loved. I would cheat, lie and steal for you. Actually I'm sure that was the first time I felt in love. And of course I had to felt for the rocker kid, with the sweetest cinnamon skin, named after the biggest star in this sistem (and now i feel like it is named after you), whose friend was so suprised to know someone liked them, all my friends told me shit about you. 

Funny how you think you are a loser. When I think about you like the biggest star in this sistem and been writing about you for almos a year. But I'm a loser, so what does that makes you?

This guy my friend knows begged his ex to be together again. Shoul I do that? Do you want me to coe back home? just like that song says, the one you dedicated to me, but people do that all the time and you probably didn't mean it.

What happened? I always felt that you were not being genuine and that everything was just for entertainment, or maybe there was someone else (maybe even from the past), or maybe you just take all your chances. I felt like if I was some kind of invasive species, that couldnt even find the resources to survive. I want to apologize for that, for pushing too much. And I know you would say that I dont need to apologize and everything is okay, but your words dont make me feel less guilty cause I dont think they are true or that you are taking it seriously.

I'm still afraid that I wont be able to forget you. That one day I'll be 30 and still feel sad thinking about you.

I want to change and I'm going to try. That probaby means I'll leave you in the past, were you belong.

But if you want me back home. Just tell me and I will think about it.

And I can remember when I saw her last
We were running all around and having a blast, having a blast
But the backseat of the drive-in is so lonely without you
I know when you're home, I was thinking about you
There was something I forgot to say
I was crying on Saturday night
I was out cruising without you
They were playing our song
Crying on Saturday night