First wlw experience??..

!!!

It's a little embarrassing because it happened so fast, too fast.

And yes, I admit I'm kinda dumb when it comes to girls.

This was almost in the beginning of March. I'd been interested in a girl since last year, whom I'm going to call "N." I only spoke to her once and never spoke to her again cuz I was embarrassed by my appearance and gave up about getting to know her although for the rest of the year I couldn't stop thinking about how I'd love to talk to her again, she was so bright, sweet, funny and pretty. I had also found out she was dating "S," a girl from another group who, to be honest, I didn't like at all

“S” is a masc by just looking at her you can notice it, kinda rude and she's the type that doesn't seem to put much effort or interest into things like school, among other things that I didn't like about her and previously at the end of 2024, beginning of 2025 she had sent me messages on Instagram, casual things of no importance that seemed a bit random to me but nothing more.

Back to the beginning of March. This girl had sent me a message about some stories I had posted on IG. I even interacted with her twice at school but nothing direct as such. That same day in I was leaving an afternoon course I had and saw that my friend "V" posted an ngl story where she had tagged me with the question; "Can you introduce me to your Brazilian friend?" I was a little confused because I thought maybe it was towards someone else but I am the only Brazilian in my school and Im PRETTY SURE my friend don't know any brazilian girlie else than me. 

I knew that "S" wrote that but seeing her personality I took it as a joke, just to confirm I sent my friend a message and indeed, it was from "S", but not only that, but she told me that at the party of the girl I HATE the most she was constantly asking about me, it seemed strange to me but I didn't take it seriously until "S" started sending me messages again and a few flirty/funny videos.

To make things short.. Even though I didn’t like her and I was going through a crisis because apparently “S” was interested in me when I liked her ex-girlfriend “N” I decided to leave my prejudices aside and get to know her, not as a potential partner but as a potential friend. 

UHHHH BAD IDEA??? 

I’m a fool and I could have done things different. 2 weeks had passed and I had forgotten about “N” and ended up liking “S”, we always talked on chat, she was cute, funny and a little different from what I imagined. just a little bit, not much. If she was a boy I would deff be defensive 24/7 but this is what I meant at the beginning. 

During the fast crush I was developing on her I was suffering; one day happy and another  in despair with a thousand doubts about what to do with my life, if she really liked me and with the feeling that this was a game and that “my friends” who are also her friends were hiding something from me. One of my besties, who I have known for a long time told me the truth (Which by the way, I was expecting) “S” liked to play around with girls. The truth broke my heart while I was trying to bake cookies for my friends, not cuz of "S" but because how my friend group knew it and didn't tell me anything. 

I was sad but got over it easy and still continued to talk with "S" just because my bestie told me that she heard her say that she wasn't really sure if she wanted something serious with me but was still thinking abt it. I knew how the situation was but decided to keep up and one day I had a kinda personal talk with her, she told me a few white lies before but also seemed sometimes pretty honest, idk. 

I told her about my fear of not meeting other people's expectations and that night when I stayed up late talking to her she said something very sweet, something that sounded honest but deep down I knew things weren't going to end well for me and it would be my fault and I was right.

She even printed out the information I needed for a quiz I was going to have, I didn't even asked her to do that.. why?? Even my "friends" that knew her kinda well thought that was weird from her

It was all confusing. I remember very well friday 21st, a day before I pierced my ears alone so I could look pretty the next day. I woke up early and tried my best to look good, my "friends" said I looked gorg and I hoped she'd look at me and think the same thing. Although there are some details that happend that day, I'd rather skip them because they're not relevant.

When I got home and I was hella bored so why not play Roblox on my iPad?? (which I don't normally use) As soon as I turned on the screen, I received constant messages from "S" on Instagram. They weren't for me; my friend "V" had left her account on my iPad. Her conversations with "S" aren't my business, but the notifications were weird. I could tell they were talking about me, and I honestly started to feel sick. 

Im not proud of it, but I decided to take a look a quick look, maybe It was a misunderstanding and my mind was fooling me. Hahaha lol. No. 

TFFFF.. "V" told her I had a crush on her, also told the girl I hated about the whole situation.

In those messages, she talked about me as someone she only got along with just cuz I hangout with her friends, but what really broke me was that she told "S" to play with me, to have fun. She didn't say it once, it was several times telling her to play with my feelings. What "S" said didn't surprise me, deep down I feel that at some point she was honest with me, maybe things could have been different but she didn't break my heart, who did was my supposed friend. 

I didn't expect anything from "S", after all, I barely knew her. 

Btw, I'm still friends with both of them, in a few months I'll change schools and I don't want to cause any problems but that's how my first wlw experience ended?? Idk if that was really something but yeahhhhh