my thoughts on death

 bascially a vent ooohujh awesome, pardon my horribble grammar and cringe  i just dont know who to tell this to

I have a lot of things to say, but I don't know how. Let's start with the concept on death. We all die eventually. I used to think I wasn't scared of death. But as much as I hate to admit it, I am. I'm very scared. No one knows what happens, no one fully knows where you go. You might say “oh that's easy! when you die, you'll go to heaven!” but is it really that simple? I don't want to go to heaven; I don't want to go to hell. I don't think I even want eternal peace. I don't want to be stuck in one place, one body. I don't want to experience things above; I don't want to watch the world pass as I sit there dead.

I want to be reincarnated. I want to live again, as someone else. I want to find the right body for my soul. Speaking of, I don't believe I am in right body. I take over these thoughts and actions like a parasite. As far as I'm aware I've always felt like this. that I'm something more than just this body, this skin, these organs. I don't know what I am but when I die, I might just finally know. I'm excited to find out just as I am scared. what if I don't get reincarnated? what will happen? I guess we can never truly know.

I really do want to be reincarnated, I do. I want to experience the world as someone else. Someone with a different background, different family, friends, different culture, different mindset. One day I'll finally belong to the right body, but as of now, I am not. I really really am not. I feel urgent to get out, to start again. I'm curious. I want to know what happens after death. But I'm scared to leave my friends behind, my family, the progress I've made. All of that for nothing? But was there truly anything there? Was there something you've done that forces you to stay?

Every time I look into the mirror I am met with an unfamiliar face. I feel confused sometime. That's not me, and I feel bad for intruding.

itd be cool to have some advice but who gaf, cringe yap sesh over thank you and goodnight :p