December 17th 2028: Am I dead yet. !!DONT READ IF UR SUICIDAL!!

I hope no one reads this, but at the same time I hope someone does. I made a promise on my 7th birthday; I'm going to kms when I turn 17. Yes im a extrovert, happy friend & never seen upset. But I hide it to everyone. No one knows about my sh, or anything else. I tried it before but I promised to do it when I turn 17. Why 17? Because 17 is before when u fully turn adult, in my heart I am always a kid, I can't grow up. 17 Because I was born on 17. The number 7 is my worst number in my life. I had 7 suicide fails, 7 ppl who died(family members),7 times of ED. Its also literally around the world, 7 days in a week, 7 wonders of the world, yk. If I die on 17 december when I'm 17, at 7pm at on the 7th bridge, its really cool ig. This isn't me promoting you to be suicidal.