What would happen if teenagers from "MTV's Fat Camp" were trying to run away, only to bump into a character with a hidden camera from "Dateline NBC's To Catch A Predator."

📍 EXT. WOODS – NIGHT – NEAR CAMP POCONO TRAILS

(Three teens — JORDAN, LEXI, and TREVOR — are trudging through the trees with backpacks and snacks.)

JORDAN:
Dude, I swear I saw a house up here on Google Maps. It’s, like, right past the hill.

LEXI:
If this ends with us getting eaten by a bear and the bear gains 40 pounds, I’m haunting your ass.

TREVOR:
Y’all, I’m just saying... if there’s pizza, I’m committing crimes. Let’s go.

(They spot a suburban-style house with porch lights on.)

JORDAN:
Oh my god. Look! It’s real! And... yo, is that Domino’s on the porch??

LEXI:
This is divine intervention. I believe in God now.

(They run up to the porch and reach for the pizza when suddenly—)

CHRIS HANSEN (O.S.):
Why don’t you guys have a seat over there?

(The teens freeze. CHRIS HANSEN steps out from inside the house holding a folder. A DATELINE CAMERAMAN appears.)

CHRIS:
You kids aren’t... uh, you’re not the decoy.

JORDAN:
Decoy? Bro, we saw garlic crust from 40 yards away. What is this?

TREVOR:
Are we being punk’d? Is Ashton Kutcher about to pop out of the fridge?

(Inside the house, a CONFUSED PREDATOR, mid-interrogation, is trying to sneak out the back. A COP tackles him. CHAOS ensues.)

LEXI:
DID THAT GUY JUST DIVE OUT THE WINDOW?!

CHRIS:
(sighs)
This is Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC... and you three just blew a three-month sting operation.

TREVOR:
Okay but hear me out—can we have a slice?

COP:
(getting up from the tackle)
Are these kids with you?

CHRIS:
No. They appear to be... campers. From some kind of weight-loss program.

JORDAN:
Respectfully, it’s called Fat Camp. We're on a hero’s journey.

LEXI:
This was supposed to be our Breakfast Club moment and now we’re in Law & Order: SVU.

CHRIS:
(looking off into space)
This might be worse than the guy who brought a ferret.

(A PA from MTV runs up, filming on a handheld camera.)

MTV PRODUCER:
Keep rolling. This is Emmy material. This is real. This is raw.

LEXI:
Do not autotune my voice when I scream later.

TREVOR:
(munching pizza)
I regret nothing.

🎬 HARD CUT TO: BLACK SCREEN

TEXT ON SCREEN:
Two of the campers were grounded. One got a development deal from MTV. Chris Hansen filed a report and went home to eat cold breadsticks in silence.