Report Blog Entry
for a long time, depression drowned me into something i couldn't change; it just showed up, drags you into yourself, and leaves you feeling like there’s no way out. i tried to find meaning in places people told me to look; in goals, in religion, in success, in love, but none of it made the weight any lighter. in fact, it felt heavier. the pressure to be something, to do something, to matter in some grand way... it was killing me.
and then i found nihilism. not the dramatic, “nothing matters so let’s self-destruct” kind. no, the calm, almost liberating realization that if nothing has to matter, then maybe i don’t have to feel so crushed by everything.
nihilism, at its core, says there’s no inherent meaning to life. it kinda sounds weird right? but here’s the thing, if life doesn’t come pre-loaded with meaning, then we’re free. we don’t have to carry the burden of fulfilling some cosmic expectation. we can just be. breathe. exist. feel. without judgment. without shame.
when i truly accepted that, something shifted. the pressure melted. i stopped chasing meaning like it was the cure. instead, i started creating small ones a walk in the sun, the warmth of coffee, the softness of a song. no grand purpose. just moments.
nihilism gave me permission to not be okay, and to stop punishing myself for it. it reminded me that if nothing matters universally, then maybe that pain i felt wasn’t something i had to defeat, but something i could just observe, and let pass. i know and u know that our lives are fucked up. but why we know that? it's because society made us believe that we need to be wrong versions of ourselves? be someone more of the "perfect" people.
if you're drowning, nihilism might not solve everything, but it can cut the weight. it can remind you that the expectations you’ve been forced to carry, from society, family, your own mind, are just noise. if nothing has meaning by default, then you get to decide what matters. or if anything has to matter at all.
sometimes, surviving isn’t about fighting harder. sometimes, it’s about letting go. and in that quiet, weightless space you just might find peace.
and that can be enough. i'm not happy, i'm not depressed. i am nothing, and that makes me feel better than anything.
Comments
Displaying 1 of 1 comments ( View all | Add Comment )
Samiilll
I see the truth in your words, like the quiet after a storm. The weight you’ve carried, the heaviness of expectation, it all fades when you let go of the need to fill the void with something “important.” Nihilism isn’t about giving up, it’s about setting down the armor and walking free, unburdened by a world that insists on meaning.
In the emptiness, there is space to breathe, to simply be. No need to fight, no need to prove—only the moment, delicate and fleeting. You are not lost, you are just untethered. And in that untangling, there's a soft kind of peace, a quiet surrender that, somehow, feels more real than all the chaos we’re told we must navigate.
In this silence, we find freedom, not from pain, but from the pressure to escape it. And in the freedom of nothingness, there’s a certain beauty. The absence of meaning becomes its own kind of meaning, a stillness that wraps you in a way nothing else ever could.
Thank you for giving me this view of life—this gentle gift of weightlessness, where simply existing is enough.
Here, in the calm after the storm of expectations, I find a fragile gratitude for each breath that comes without demand. I carry no map, no grand design, only the soft promise of each sunrise and the whisper of possibility in the wind.
Perhaps this is the truest form of rebellion: to live unshackled by meaning, to honor the small wonders—a sliver of dawn light, the echo of laughter, the quiet hum of the world moving on. In the vast expanse of nothing, we become architects of our own moments, painting life in shades we choose, not ones prescribed.