mothers

family is so strange

i saw in a video how the moment you mother was born the egg that will have produced you was already in her and the same goes for you mothers mother and all the women before her. Its crazy to believe that anything they went through during their pregnancy would have affected you. Its even more crazy to think about all the traits that were passed onto me and you by all those before us, all the trauma they endured that has somehow entered us without our knowledge.

People are always saying "like mother like daughter". Yet some peoples greatest fear is turning into their mother. I love my mother dearly, she is my best friend but I will admit there are traits I wish she didn't give me. Earlier this month I told her It seems like letting people walk all over you runs in our family she laughed but she too felt the weight of what I said, she knew it was true. Obviously she didn't intend to pass that on to me, and it isn't entirely her fault that I am the way I am. I see her struggles and I see my own but she is also a lot stronger than i am. She was stronger at 20 than I am at 20 but she says i'm smarter than her than she was at my age.

I look up to her but am also scared to one day be her. not because she's a bad person or anything but she just puts so many others before herself. I'm scared to not live up to what she is or to what she wants of me.

no html cuz i wrote this fast

Friday April 18 2025