Partner happenings (!!first blog!!)

🌸[Note]🌸
hiya, (waow first blog entry ! !). I want to make these every so often on just the goings of my life or what projects I'm working on, whether that's gamedev, general programming, sewing or something else fun!

this first entry might not be all that crazy, since it's just yapping about life stuff and is even slightly vent-y, but I wanted a place to put this stuff where it can be seen while it's still fresh in my mind. :p
 
🌸[Content]🌸
my partner has recently been more distant, and tbh it's been kinda scary, I will admit I can overthink a lot, but we did leave on a kinda awkward note the previous time we had seen each other, and I was really afraid for a while that they was losing interest ;-;

alas we did hang out again earlier this week (we can't too consistently since they live about an hour away) and they let me know what's going on. they've been really down under the weather, which was upsetting to hear, but I understand. -I go through my own fair share of loops too.- And have been struggling with their hours at work being cut back alongside family drama :/

One BIG thing to take away from their visit though, was that they're changing their pronouns! ! ! :0

They now prefer non-binary they/them pronouns, but also don't care if they're called she or even he that bad :v (I did ask if that meant they were kinda gender fluid and they were like 'idrk what I am! maybe, maybe not!' which is so real)

I'm not too fully convinced on the he/him part since we've talked extensively in the past about their discomfort with being misgendered with that particularly. But I know it wasn't ever a great big deal in their mind either, so whatevs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm really happy for them ^-^ not only for further exploring and defining who they truly are, but also being open and sharing all this and how they've been dealing with their struggles lately with me, it's brave and a real show of our trust in one another!! I was really happy to be there to listen, and it did help dispell a lot of my internal concerns :)

🌸[Closing]🌸
Before I close this off I do have one final conundrum and odd confession to make.
I don't really like saying 'partner' or 'SO' that much 😬 it feels awkward!

Am I weird for this???

It's not like the end of the world, but for me it feels kinda...-idk how to word it perfectly- like forced? almost cringey in a way? idk. It's never like this when others say it, just when I do. It feels like I'm trying to hide what gender my pookie is during conversation or something, when I'm not! ! ! I'm pan I'm fine openly dating anyone ^-^

I mentally conquered the word "theyfriend" almost in a silly joking way but have unironically been kinda stuck to it, idk why I like it, fits the same boyfriend girlfriend spot for me I guess despite it's silly roots. I looked it up and it does seem to be a real term other people use too, so I'm at least not totally absurd! lol

am I odd for being like this? is theyfriend really okay to be using or should I try to use the others more until I'm more comfortable with them in my vocab? lmk any thoughts on this loll :3

anywho, thanks for reading all of this friend :D I appreciate you spending your time with me <3

-Flowers