Post abt my recent feelings

Hi, i just wanna dump my emotions, recent thoughts and things like that here. Why im posting it public? Cuz i want ppl who feel the same to know that you are not alone. Anyway- 

Ive been feeling pretty down recently. I feel like my friends hate me, like ppl talk to me only cuz theyre using me, i feel like they dont care abt me, like im saying "im sorry" too much. Ive been getting pretty sensitive over ANYTHING lately and its so damn annoying. I feel anxious abt going to school, cuz i think that ppl are gonna judge me for everything i say and do. I feel empty, out of energy. I feel like something is missing. The last time i felt like this was 3 years ago, when i was bed rotting and drowning in depression so i decided to visit my therapist, and she told me that these thoughts can be cuz of puberty. I hope that its true, cuz i really dont wanna take ANY sort of medication. Also im sh clean for 7 months and out my psychical addiction to alcohol for 6 months and i dont wanna go back. Everything was fine and so suddenly, its gone. 

I might seem like a  negative person but its not true, im funny and outgoing. I dont wanna let these shitty thoughts ruin me again but i feel like im loosing control over my head. 

If youre reading this, thanks for your attention.