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The poet is a fool
And before you resurrect every Brazilian writer to stone me, let me explain my thesis.
I have a writer friend. He has the most beautiful words and the most refined vocabulary. But he shares the same flaw as countless writers and poets: he feels too much.
Don’t get me wrong — the problem isn’t feeling. The problem is believing that every feeling is the truth.
This boy ended a recent friendship, and that alone was enough to make him feel so bad that he had to go back to therapy. I felt so sorry for him because I know how sensitive he is. T (let's call him that) then began writing about his feelings, but unlike most poets, he always shows me his texts. So I started noticing something very frequent in his monologues: his descriptions didn’t exactly match reality. I say this because I was part of the process and saw everything firsthand. I know everyone feels things differently, but it’s one thing for someone to say the sky is light blue when you see it as dark blue. Another thing entirely is saying the sky is red. In cases like that, we must consider the possibility of a vision problem — or a philosophy problem:Poetic Colorblindness
"When someone romanticizes a situation so much that they forget humanity isn’t a stable poem — it's actually a piece of writing that would probably score -1000 in cohesion on a language exam."
T became so obsessed with writing about his thoughts that he forgot writing should be for venting and healing, not for sinking into self-pity.
A psychologist once told a friend of mine that there’s nothing wrong with writing about your feelings (it’s actually healthy), but you can’t drown in them. When you vent through words, they should be gently embraced and then let go when needed. If you only use words to immerse yourself in negative thoughts, you’re not relieving your pain — you’re amplifying it.
Instead of always writing about what you feel, try writing about what you want to feel. It’s also healthy to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to see how they perceive you — truly perceive you — and not with that pessimistic vibe of “everyone hates me.” You’ll realize you’re more loved than you think.
I know what I’m about to say might offend every poet, but human connections aren’t always that deep.
T was actually more connected to his own imagination than to his “friend.” When the friendship ended, what truly hurt him was the shattering of the illusion he had built around the relationship, more than the actual loss itself. Most of the time, human connections aren’t like “etched into my soul,” but more like “I love their smile” — and that’s not necessarily bad.Human connections are mostly superficial. They won’t be with you at every moment, they won’t love you unconditionally, and they’ll probably talk badly about you sometimes. So don’t expect a perfect being who understands all your layers and desires. The only person who can love you unconditionally, without judgment, and who truly knows your soul — is you.
And this isn’t an individualistic speech like “abandon all your shallow friends and go live in a cave.” It’s more like “your love should be 50% for yourself and 50% for others — if you give 100% to others and forget yourself, you’ll only end up disillusioned and hurt.”
When you stop seeing life through a tragically poetic lens, you’ll be realistic and wise enough to say “goodbye” to friendships with much more lightness. There’s nothing wrong with being philosophical and sensitive, just don’t forget: not everything you think is real.
We grew up hearing that life isn’t a strawberry, but it’s not a bitter gourd either. It’s a beautiful fruit salad. And the secret lies in enjoying all the flavors — even the bitter ones — with kindness and acceptance.
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