Why I think Pencil BFDI has NPD

Hi :) I'm gonna start this out by saying I myself have NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and that Pencil is my favorite. We're not demonizing NPD here, so if you're a narc abuse truther, do yourself a favor and block me !!! Anyways, onto the post :) 

We'll start by going over the diagnostic criteria for NPD from the dsm5: 

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).

6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Next, I'd like to highlight some times in the show (specifically TPOT) where she displays some of these bullet points. Specifically, cited from her coverage section on her wiki page: 

Category One: 

"With the instructions clear, everyone rushes to the door, but Pencil gets there first. She blocks the exit, pushes Pen aside, throws Fanny away, and trips Tennis Ball. As Snowball charges toward her, Pencil swiftly throws both him and Grassy outside." 

DEFINITELY falls under exploitative at least. The people around her see this as being violent and unnecessary, even her own team expresses concern over it. It's important to note, as this show relies heavy on context. 

I SAID CAREFUL!!!: 

"Stepping out, Pencil renews her pitch to Book and Ice Cube, but her frustration boils over, leading her to punch and kick the van in a tantrum."

This is both entitlement (expecting Book and Ice Cube to associate and talk with her even after the two express they do not) and lacking empathy (not understanding WHY Book and Ice Cube don't want to associate with her). This is going to be touched on more when I specifically focus on her relationships with others, but it's good to note here! 

"Pencil picks up Winner, telling them to let her know how safe this is as she prepares to throw." 

SHE LITERALLY USES WINNER WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY LMAOOO

Seasonal Shift: 

Now before I cover the infamous Pencil crash out. I have to explain what a narc crash, or narcissistic collapse, is. A narc crash is when a narcissist receives a significant threat or damage to their ego, which can cause emotional backlash and decreased stability. Pencil's crash out was brought on by Golf Ball accusing her of not being careful enough, something she took as a threat to her ego, or as GB looking down on her. It's clear she wants to be seen as responsible and mature, so it makes sense GB talking down on her would make her lash out the way she does. 

"Others can clean that mess, I'm NOT LOSING AGAIN, Golf Ball! TO YOU MAYBE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE STUCK IN A CLASSROOM FOR 6 YEARS! I TRIED TO BE A GOOD LEADER, TO BE THE ONE TO GET US OUT OF THERE, AND ROBOTY WAS THE ONE TO SAVE THE DAY IN THE END. And now, everyone I knew and trusted is GONE! AND THE PEOPLE I DO KNOW WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME! SO MAYBE I WANT TO AVOID BEING PUT BACK UP FOR ELIMINATION. MAYBE IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME! BECAUSE I CAN'T GO BACK THERE!! I can't.. go back there. Maybe those failed debuters were right. Maybe changing the past.. would SAVE ME!"

- "Others can clean that mess" Pencil is once again prioritizing herself over other people, even above the stability of the timeline/universe. 

- "You have no idea what it's like..." Once again, Pencil has the pre-conceived notion that other people won't understand her. While this is partly because of how unique her trauma is, and how GB really might just not be able to understand the psychological affects, it could also be because she herself doesn't see GB as "on her level", or someone she holds in high regard. 

- "...And Roboty was the one to save the day in the end!" Pencil WANTS that positive attention, and it's clear that the main reason she worked so hard to get the EXITors out was so that they would look up to her and see her as a leader. 

I'm mostly keeping this short because I started to run out of motivation, but I personally think Pencil displays a lot of symptoms of NPD :)