First time coming back to this site in years

It's a boring status update because I've been opening this app.

Just now I got done talking with my parents about some dumb stuff that happened at school and I'm definitely going to cut tonight 

It kinda got resolved, but now I have ISI, and I'm more afraid of what my friend will think than my own parents, lol. I always feel like he's looking down on me and I know he's going to be disgusted when he finds out. Ugh, I can't take it anymore but I've been mostly fine. I started going to therapy but it's of limited help because I can't be entirely honest without being sent to a psych ward or outing myself. Totally dreading ISI. Probably will spend the day wishing something horrible happened so people would feel too bad for me to be mad at me.