Girl is sad and scared

Me blood test said that I’ve got very high cholesterol. Like, VERY high. Cholesterol at 4 mmol/L is considered very high and mine is 7…. Basically DOUBLE of that. 

I’m actually terrified I’m going to drop dead of a heart attack or stroke at any moment. 

I just feel like as soon as I become an adult I’m just hit with all these medical issues and it’s really depressing me. Like I’m only 21, why do I need to be worrying about having heart attacks and strokes and early dementia?

So basically now I need to be on medication for life for my cholesterol yayyyy another pill 💊 now that’s 5 pills I take daily. I can’t believe just a couple of years ago I was a normal person who didn’t need any medication for anything and now I’m taking 5 pills a day for various medical issues. 

I know it could be worse, and I’m grateful that it’s not worse but I’m just sad. I don’t want to die young. I know your fate is your fate but I’m terrified.

I know the medicine is obviously going to lower my cholesterol to normal levels but I wish I didn’t need to be on a medicine for life (which may have side effects) I just wish I was normal. 

I have medication anxiety, every time I take a new medicine I end up having a panic attack. Ugh I’m so dumb. I wish I wasn’t such a dumb scared idiot 

But I just wish I was naturally healthy instead of depending on medicines to be healthy dyknow what I mean.. on the stremf 💔 I don’t even wanna stremf anymore I’m too sad rn

I’m sad and scared and on edge like I can’t chill out now until I start taking that pill. I’m gonna get it tomorrow but in the meantime I’m fretting. Like I’m in bed rn but I can’t sleep because I’m scared. 

End of discussion