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How do I tell if I'm being groomed? (im 15 btw) I have this friend, let's call him C. C is 29, I've known him for a little over four months now, at first I thought we were just really good friends but then C started to act as is we were dating, but I have problems saying "no" or "I'm uncomfortable" so I just go with it. he never said it out front at first; he'd just said how much he loved and needed me in his life and that he hoped I would stay with him forever. one night he had asked me to do a ERP, basically sexting, I finally said no just for him to do it anyway, but again I'm a big baby so I just do it. i have problems at home and I don't have anyone other than him to talk to, so I do. he tells me how as soon as I'm 18 I can live with him forever and he'll give me all the attention and love I could ever want, again I just agree because I'm scared of being alone ngl. he says "I cant wait till your 18" all the time, like yesterday he said "I cant wait till your 18 so you can come here and ill cover you in kisses and cuddles". He also always compares me to a daughter and then tells me he wishes he could adopt me, but it's expensive, AND THEN turns around and says "Im so in love with you".Well, a few weeks passed from all that, and I got an actual boyfriend (let's call him A, A is 20) I told C about A and he seemed sad. I asked if he was okay with that, and he said he had thought we had been dating. i told him I was 15 because I had told him I was 16 and he said "I forgot if you were 13,14,15, or 16 XD" Then he told me, "It's okay to like a 13 year old as long as they say yes"???? well A told me to block C, but I can't. I feel bad because I already stopped him from killing himself, and if I leave, he'll try again, and I don't want him to hurt himself, so... what should I do??? and I have more stuff on him, but that's just what the weirdest and worst is, I just wanna make sure I'm not just being dramatic or something, should I still keep him as close as I have been?
this is a jump up from my last post :') (tw: maybe grooming? sexual stuff w/ minorrr)
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Dio
He is using his mental health issues as a bait to control you. He is not a “sad man struggling with his mental health who needs help”. He is a man trying to keep you in any way that he can, so that he can fulfill his pedophilic desires.
You are NOT responsible for his mental health. HE is. Any adult would know this, and yet he is choosing to make you feel like you are responsible for him.
Let me reassure you, you leaving him will NOT make him commit suicide (If he ever does commit suicide, it will be from different reasons to which you are not responsible of).
He’s gonna suck up all your energy as well as his own. That’s what happens if his source of comfort is placed on a minor. If he doesn’t cut ties with you and start fresh, his mental health is just gonna get worse.
When you try to block him, he may say stuff to make you feel bad for him, make you apologize, or make you to explain yourself. These are methods for him to get you to stay. You shouldn’t have to respond to any of this because he already KNOWS that you blocking him is the right thing to do.
So just block him, without saying anything.
I won’t claim to know better than you just because I’m a little bit older but there ARE a few things that can be seen better through a perspective of an adult, and this is one of them.
Also, I’m sorry to tell you the harsh truth, but the 20 year old that’s dating you is also a pedophile.
You deserve all the love in this world, and both of these men’s “love” is fake. You deserve real love, not these facade.
Seems like you’ve been in this condition for a while now, so I won’t blame you if you can’t immediately build courage to cut them off. My DM is open if you need some support/reassurance.
Either way, I truly hope that you can get out of this situation.
by Dio; ; Report
ya, I know the 20-year-old isn't any better, but ngl I love him and all, but he does act like I'm an adult if that makes sense? lie he says as soon as he gets a house, he doesn't care how old I am, I'm moving in with him and it's not a choice, that's always kinda weirded me out a bit, and other stuff about him too, but I don't wanna make you uncomfortable with that stuff :') But if you're ever free to talk, lmk id be happy to. I probably need to tell someone before I'm locked in this relationship forever anyway
by *ੈ✩‧₊˚Daisa*ੈ✩‧₊˚; ; Report
You are very considerate. Do send me a DM! Just no friend request. I hope you understand :)
by Dio; ; Report
ARENDY
C SEEMS EXTREMELY PREDATORY FROM A SIDE VIEW D: I SUGGEST YOU BLOCK HIM AND AS SOON AS YOU CAN AND IT WOULD SAVE YOU A TON OF TROUBLE. STAY SAFE ^_^
✩ᴀᴅᴅʏ x ᴊᴀʏ✩
Hii, so uhm yes, you are being groomed, and your feelings and concerns are completely valid.
C is 29 and you’re 15. That alone makes this relationship illegal and extremely unsafe. Grooming is when an adult builds a relationship with a minor to manipulate, control, and eventually exploit them often emotionally or sexually. Which is what he’s doing by:
•acting like your dating
•talks to you about living with him, being “in love” with you and waiting until your 18
•he pressures you into sexual conversations
•he compares you to his daughter which is deeply manipulative
•he makes you feel guilty, saying he’ll hurt himself if you leave
• and he minimizes your age saying it’s “okay to like a 13-year old”.
None of that is normal nor okay. He’s not acting like a friend, he’s manipulating you. It’s not your job to protect him.
He’s using your kindness and empathy to control you. You are not responsible for his mental health or safety especially when he is the one hurting and endangering you. If he talks about self-harm, that’s something professionals need to handle. You can’t and shouldn’t carry that burden.
What should I do? He's really set on me living on him to the point he says it every three seconds, and idk why, but I feel like I have to do it to make him happy. i just have bad anxiety...he knows how to play with me to the point it's scary. For awhile, I thought I had a crush on him, but idk. I'm just confused about what I should do. he always tells me stuff I wanna hear, especially with my household problems. He just knows what I want, and I'm just scared I'll leave with him and won't come back but at the same time I wanna leave with him
by *ੈ✩‧₊˚Daisa*ੈ✩‧₊˚; ; Report
You’re in a really tough and confusing situation, and it’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed. But please know this: you don’t owe him anything, and it’s not your job to make him happy. The way he’s treating you—saying what you want to hear, using your feelings and anxiety to control you, pushing you to live with him—isn’t love or care, it’s manipulation. He’s using your vulnerabilities to get what he wants, and that’s not safe or okay. You deserve real support, safety, and love from people who respect your age, your boundaries, and your well-being. Please talk to a trusted adult, counselor, or reach out to a hotline so you can get help leaving this situation safely. You’re not alone, and you can get through this.
by ✩ᴀᴅᴅʏ x ᴊᴀʏ✩; ; Report