Please be a turnaround

Oh gosh...

2025 hasn't been lenient with me, throwing at me one problem after another, and by each hit I'd give reasons for letting myself go. All my routines have long been halted, my discipline gone, hobbies no longer continued. I started looking like, AND embodying the essence of a sewer rat, sometimes I smell like one too. 

I yearn for the bliss I was in at my old suite, where the gardens flourished and so did I, where the quietness was only broken by my will, and the only problems I had was frustration with what to cook up for the day's meals, or with what should my page be inked with. I'm stopped from attending school and work by Immigration. I no longer have the privilege of feeding myself like I used to, nor have the drive to fill my notebooks anymore. I leech off my friend and have become quite the heavy load for him to deal with—as like me, you and all, he also has his battles to lead. 

I've plunged deep back into my addictions; my nicotine consumption is at it's worst it's ever been, I've been drinking heavily any chance I can get my hands on some, and more *sniff* that I don't want to get into right now honestly.

Some good news though is that I've joined a political group, and am now holding an executive position (Organiser and head of international affairs) which is something I'm happy and excited about. Though I feel I'm not qualified for it I believe It'll push me to try and put efforts to hold up it's duties, for I have their trust to be put in that role and I will not allow myself to disappoint them.

I'm moving again in a week or so, I have hope that I can still push myself in a better pathway, even if by small movements for now, I just need some proper change. And this time I know the people who will house me prior to the move, they truly are good and their presence is comforting, so I'm sure this move will do me good in many a ways.

I don't know what time has for me yet, but please be something I can handle... I've had enough :(

-❥Lumi